Judging and Bullying: Are They Different?

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What Do You See? What Do I See?

We see things as only we can, through the eyes of our experiences, our history, our values, our preferences and our biases.  Each person’s view is unique.  That uniqueness of view explains very neatly why we often have communication problems, misunderstandings and arguments.

Our “Lens” Changes as We Learn and Grow

Each person’s “lens” used to see and experience life is different and changes as we learn and grow.  As we learn and grow and travel, our world view expands until it can include more of the views of others. Even if we don’t fully agree with those views, we can see that each person has a unique view and the right to have that view respected by others.

What is Judging?

If each person’s view is different from the views of others, then what is judging?

• A limited worldview that only allows the views of one person or group
• Promoting one’s own thinking as the “perfection” of thinking
• An attempt (intentional or not) to make ourselves look smarter by belittling another person or group
• An attempt to control the behavior and thinking of others or groups

How is Judging Different From Bullying?

The better question is “How is judging the same as bullying?” Judging and bullying do have a lot in common.

• Both rely on getting the upper hand at the expense of another
• Both are unkind
• Both are harmful
• Both reflect a win-lose mentality
• Both are absent in a healthy culture

Is judging nothing more than intellectual bullying?

Linda Fisher Thornton is Owner of Leading in Context LLC, a consulting firm that provides tools for leading responsibly in a complex world.  She is also Adjunct Assistant Professor of Leadership for the University of Richmond School of Continuing Studies.

March 2011 Press Release: New Approach Makes Leadership Ethics Training Accessible in a Down Economy The most recently published Leading in Context® Training Module “Different” is at the intersection of Diversity & Inclusion, Innovation, Leadership and Ethics.